04.06
Over the past weekend, I went on a hunt for beer-making supplies. In Winchester, I found Murphy Beverage Company. They have beer and wine and equipment for making said beer and wine. It’s a small store with a corresponding small selection of…everything. But, they do carry hops, malts and yeast and since it’s the only store in the area like it, its all good. I bought a funnel with a built-in screen, a bottle capper and a carboy brush.
I still lacked a very, very key piece of equipment – a brew pot. What I wanted was a 6 or 7 gallon stainless steel pot. Catalogs, like Cabela’s, list such a device at approximately $120-$150, not including shipping. I went to every place I could think of that might carry such pots, Gander Mountain, Sears, JC Penny, Lowe’s, Home Depot, etc. The closest I could find was a 5 gallon aluminum pot, which is both too small and the wrong metal.
Finally, I broke my long-standing resolution to never again set foot in a Wal-mart. Let me tell you, I hate Wal-mart. With a passion. Every store I’ve been in is always the same: 8 billion people, employees who don’t know where anything is and 2 cashiers. And they’re always like that, no matter the hour of the day.
I went in because my wife needed to return something, shampoo or some such, I don’t know. I was grumbling with a storm cloud over my head at the prospect of walking those aisles. I meandered around and found myself in the kitchen section. I looked up and was blinded by a bright light shining off..what, I couldn’t tell (I was blinded, duh.) I shuffled over and reached out a hand to grasp…a handle of a metallic object. I pulled it off the shelf with trepidation. The weight forced me to hug it close to me. When my vision returned I looked at what I was holding. It was a large cylinder made of metal. As I rotated it in my hands, the label came into view (well, the English text of the label, that is.) A 22 quart, stainless steel cooking pot! A quick, mental calculation – 4 quarts in a gallon, 22 divided by 4 equals 5 remainder 2 or 5.5 gallons. Disbelief shone on my face like a fog light searching out lost ships. I was large enough*, the right metal, and the price…an unbelievable $49.99.
I trembled as I made my way to the registers. Something wasn’t right with the scene before me. The nearest 3 registers had only 1 person each, not the line to the back of the store I was accustomed to. I nearly fainted but was able to steady myself by leaning on the elderly lady carrying two 50 pound sacks of water softener salt. I slid into the register aisle closest to me. As my pot inched closer to the magical laser thingy that scans the bar code, I kept looking around, expecting someone to tackle me, declaring that I was in the special “elderly persons faced with hip replacement surgery” line and forced to carry my item to the back of the store to wait in line for a cashier with bad acne and no teeth. With trembling fingers, I swiped my credit card through the card do-hickey, fearful that I would wake up in my bed – all this a cruel dream. When the cashier handed me the receipt, I realized it was real…I wasn’t dreaming. I had purchased an item at Wal-mart without waiting an eternity in line behind a down-trodden mother carrying a baby with an ear-splitting wail. The cashier was courteous, polite and looked to have at least a high school education. I danced my way to the car, jubilant at finding my brew pot!
Oh happy day!
* I was hoping for a 6-7 gallon pot but a 5.5 will do nicely. I plan to freeze 1 gallon of water and brew using 4 gallons. When the boil is complete, I can put the 1 gallon ice block in to a) cool the wort and b) bring the volume closer to 5 gallons.